I am trying to document how things are going for me, both good and bad, so that I can remember. Enjoy the read. Love ya!
As I sit here and type, I can’t help but think how many times I start my testimony with the same words in which I soon will begin. All I can say is that I believe in God’s plan for me. It doesn’t mean it hurts any less, but I sink all of my heartbreak into the promise that God has absolute complete control of my life.
Today is January 22, 2016 and I am currently surviving three years, three months and 28 days from the day my heart shattered into a million pieces when my son Derrick left this earthly life. This has always been God’s plan for our life, even if for a second we falter and doubt this journey.
My life since September 25th has been a whirlwind of emotions, behaviors and zombie like fog. As I learned to live this life without one of my children, I am forced to take my world one day at a time. Each day I yearn so badly for something better for my brokenness. I am however able to find peace on the other side of my darkest hour because that is where God is. But for the simple everyday life I struggle to find that happy go lucky girl who used to live within me. She is the one who emerges from time to time, but to be honest, the heaviness of my hurt holds her back.
I began to eat out of emotion, drink my pain away and sleep as much as I could in between trying to be a wife, mom and employee. I reluctantly put my happy face on for functions and occasions and when it was over I quickly went back to my secure “in my control” safe place of darkness. Many people in my life seen what I portrayed to them, but those living in my home seen this darker side.
Through it all, good and bad, I rest assured, knowing it is ok because my healing process is to grieve through these days and simply rely on my God to lead me because my story is far from over and my journey’s just begun.
I have tried many things to find the source of joy in my life. I listen carefully to the prompts of the Holy Spirit. In September 2014 I started to stand up for my life again. I was finally gaining strength emotionally and decided that I would slowly start to speak out about suicide awareness. At the same time in this month God placed a fitness journey in my path. I jumped in with both feet the same time Derrick’s 2 year mark came and went and I suddenly became successful in shedding some of the weight I so desperately loathed.
My grief roller coaster within any given years can be described as climbing up that large sturdy frame listening to the clickity clacks of that thick durable chain pulling me higher and higher. Fear and anticipation awaits the top of the roller coaster as thrills ascend, but then somehow the forceful turns and centrifugal force uncomfortably slam me into the side of my surroundings and I hold my breath until I am finally free.
My journey in life is the same way, emotions of ups and downs. And when I get down, I keep myself down.
I browsed the plexus posts on face book and the more I looked, it seemed the more I saw plexus. My son’s best friend’s step mom is one of my friends on FB and she always shared information on Plexus. So I decided to private message her so that I could ask some more personalized information.
Needless to say, she gave me 3 day sample for free. I was ecstatic! The very next day I woke up, and enjoyed my first plexus drink. At first taste it wasn’t “the best” flavor in the entire world, but for a vitamin drink it sure wasn’t horrible. (our taste buds are different, and I have heard loves/likes/hates the flavor.)
The first day went amazing. I felt like my whole day was preplanned to be a “great day”. nothing spectacular happened that day, I just had energy, focus, and carefree spirit. When 3pm came I was ready to tackle the gym. I wanted to work out. At 7pm I was still alert and not wiped out.
I was skeptical because I used to have a lot of these days. I called them “jean days”. Back in my happy go lucky world before Derrick passed away. I was excited, but thought…maybe it was just a “jean day”. So the next day, I drank my second plexus drink. It wasn’t as carefree of a day, because I had quite a lot on my plate, but I handled my tasks with ease. I tackled difficult situations and didn’t bother with the emotional stress of the things I couldn’t change. When work was over, I was still energized and ready to go tackle home life.
Two days down. One to go.
The third day I told my friend I feel like what a crack addict would feel like. I didn’t want to go back to feeling horrible. I wanted to keep the energy etc. the energy was awesome bc you don’t have a hype, you don’t have a crash, you just maintain energy. Period.
I finally drank my last plexus stick and again, had that energy. I had an emotional day that day as I battled grief, but my energy level never waivered.
Fast forward to finally ordering my full month supply. I decided to purchase as preferred customer.
I again enjoyed the wonderful benefits of plexus. Nothing over the moon, shout as loud as you can, this is one for the record books outcome from drinking plexus, but it has been, carry me through the day as I “FEEL GOOD” all day long.
The only experience I noticed in the beginning was nightly gas LOL (poor hubby) but it didn’t stick around very long.
I am now wrapping up my 2nd full week of drinking plexus slim. I went to a plexus meeting and heard amazing stories about what plexus has done for these ladies within their health, family’s health as well as financially.
I am ready to sign up to be an ambassador, but I really want to get the welcome pack that is coming out.
I prayed this prayer before I began my personal journey as an ambassador:
January 22, 2016
Dear Lord, I want to feel better. I want to live healthier. I want to invest into myself and invest into the lives of others to bring healing and wellness. Lord you know my heart, you know my motive. Lord I ask that you bless this endeavor that I am about to partake. I trust those whose lives were affected for the better and that you are also a big part of their lives as well. Help me to build a legacy of hope, health and healing. Lord, I pray with everything in me that your hand is guiding each step of this process and that the Holy Spirit will speak within me and Lord help my ears to hear and heed to the wisdom of YOU the Holy Spirit. Lord, I cannot do life without you as my main source. Thank you for every part of my life. I love you and thank you for everything good and bad, as it is bringing me into who I am supposed to be for you.
As I end my prayer, Lord, give me a peace that I know is from you. I love you Lord with everything in me. I thank you and I pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.
I prayed this with everything in me. I only want to go his way. Ever.
After talking with some people and seeing posts on FB I realized many close people to me are changing their lives with Plexus products. Another grieving mother, has also testified to how wonderful her days have been. And she and I know just how gloomy most days can be. It doesn’t take our pain away- ever – but Plexus does provide focus and energy.
I noticed that everywhere I looked I ONLY SEEN Christian women involved with selling Plexus. Now I am positive there are others out there who are not Christian selling plexus, but for my journey and God’s plan…so far that is all he has shown me.
I am looking forward to trying the TRI PLEX and above all…I am super excited to introduce Plexus to Kyle and get hold of his blood sugars.
If Kyle and I have positive testimonies, all we gotta do is share God’s blessings in our lives through the Plexus products. PERIOD! All to him be the glory!
Follow up: 1/27/16 I am ecstatic as I became an official Plexus Ambassador yesterday! WOOT WOOT! Upon signing up I randomly stumbled upon Plexus with two coworkers. With excited panic welling up inside me, I did my very best with what I knew. These two opportunities are leading me into learning as much as I can to be thorough in knowledge. The more you know, the more you can grow. I can’t wait to be all that God wants me to be!
Until then, I will invest within myself so that I can have the opportunity to serve others.
My testimony will forever continue……..